Better Best Forgotten? – Chapter 05

Characters: Merlin/Gwaine.

Kinsley is on the move, but who can convince Arthur that something needs to be done?

“Excellent news, thank you Sir Thomas. This is a firm step forward for -“

“Bullshit!” Gwaine’s voice rang out across the chamber.

“Excuse me, Sir Gwaine, do you have something to say?” Arthur replied, his cool tone silencing the room. The important men and women of Camelot, knights, ambassadors, vassals and business owners, amongst others, made their surprise audible. Although sometimes more forward with the new King than they would have been with Uther, none had ever dared to swear in his presence.

“Sire, what are we doing here? Why are we talking about Tom’s bloody statues? Why-“

“Sir Gwaine, the statues represent an important part of Camelot’s history, of the vic-” Sir Thomas retorted, the dislike burning furiously in his voice.

“And they’ll mean piss all when Kinsley’s bloody men are raping the city. No statues will save us then.”

“End this talk of Kinsley, Sir Gwaine. He is an outlaw, a criminal. No man will serve under his banner, no Prince will aide his cause. He is dead to this kingdom.”

A pause broke through the brief exchange, the silence exploding leaving only tension in its wake. Quietly, Gwaine replied.

“That’s not what the reports say. We all know what Kinsley is doing – the bastard is raising an army through-“

“Enough of your swearing Sir Gwaine, you forget your position.” Arthur snapped, his hands shaking slightly with rage.

“Then look past my language and listen to my arguments. You’ve never been a fool Arthur, don’t start now. Kinsley is raising an army through magic. Through dark, dirty magic, and he has his sights set on Camelot. It will not be enough to merely repel him, we have to take the fight to him, we have to destroy him.”

“Enough! This meeting is over. Sir Gwaine, consider your future before your insolence allows another outburst like that.” Storming out of the room, the court quickly began to gossip about Kinsley, war, and Sir Gwaine’s future.

Before Merlin could assess what had just happened, Gaius appeared at his side.

“Should you not be following the King, Merlin? It looks like he could do with some friendly advice.” Gaius said, unaware of the situation between Arthur and his servant.

“Erm… yeah, of course. See you for dinner.”

Merlin left the throne room, aware that Arthur would have gone to his chambers. He knew that the way there meant he should turn right, but he had no desire to do so. The past month had been awkward enough, and it was obvious Arthur had no desire to speak to the wizard.

After the incident in Portcullis Nook, and accepting that Merlin had probably saved Arthur’s life, the King had begrudgingly pardoned him. However, when the news broke that Merlin was no longer Arthur’s servant, Gaius and Queen Guinevere quickly intervened, suspecting a little disagreement between the two had gotten out of hand. Arthur, unable to tell the truth about what happened, eventually went along with their nagging and reinstated Merlin, who was now a servant in public, but made to sit in the corner when it was just the two men alone. Merlin, grateful to be allowed back into Arthur’s life, however unwillingly, was wary of pushing the boundary too far.

And this would not be the best moment to try and influence the King. 

Before Merlin could make his way down the corridor, a strong hand gripped his arm.

“I need a favour.” Gwaine whispered in his ear. “But we need to speak somewhere privately.”

Merlin sighed as he was dragged into a nearby empty room, sparsely furnished with a chair, bookcase and table, intended to keep important visitors entertained before they were welcomed to court. A sense of tiredness overshadowed the wizard’s curiosity – he was tired of secrets, of deception and secret plans. All he wanted right now, and for a long time afterwards he supposed, was to live quietly, to keep Camelot safe and pray one day Arthur would forgive him and maybe, just maybe, smile at him again.

I’ll be waiting a long time.

“What is it, Gwaine?”

“You need to convince him, Merlin.”

“The king makes up his own mind.” Merlin replied, knowing he would have no chance to convince Arthur of anything, even if he would want to.

“Cut the shit out Merlin, I’m in a rush. You know what is happening, you know what Kinsley is doing – and you know the consequence for Camelot when he marches. You have to get Arthur to see sense, while we still have the upper hand.”

“He won’t listen to me, Gwaine. You’ll have to find someone else.”

“No. Only you will do Merlin, he’ll listen to you.” There was a slight desperation to Gwaine’s voice.

He is scared. Scared for the future of Camelot. He’s feeling what the king should be feeling. It almost pained Merlin to deny Gwaine’s request, but he had to.

“He won’t, trust me, he won’t.”

“Don’t be silly Merlin, you’re his friend – his best friend, probably – though it would pain him to admit it. Yeah, you’re going through a rough patch, all friends do. But what connects you two is deep, he’ll listen.”

“No, it…” Merlin’s voice broke under the pain of his conscience.

“This isn’t the time for you to be weak, Merlin. You must do this, your magic  – yes, I remember you using it on me – I could feel that you used but a drop in the ocean of the power available to you then. That magic will make him listen. The King, and the King before him, believed ‘magic knows magic like sword knows sword’. You alone could -“

“I raped him.” Merlin shouted, not caring who heard his admission, hoping to find absolution in another’s disgust.

“What?”

“I raped him. I stopped him being Arthur, a person, and turned him into a tool to satisfy my own demands. I used my magic to control him, I made him hold me, undress me, kiss me, push me onto the bed. I made him ready for me, I made him moan, I made him cum, I made him make me cum, and I made him love me. I made him want me. Just for one night, I made him mine. And now he hates me, and I hate myself. So what do you think, Sir Gwaine, am I still your best bet to make Arthur give a fuck? I’ve already taken one fuck from him, he might not have another to spare.”

There was a brief pause. I’ve lost another friend.

“I think that’s hot.” Gwaine replied simply, a smile playing on his lips.

“Did you not hear me? I’m heartbroken, and you say -“

“So, is it all knights you have a thing for, or was it just Arthur?” Gwaine asked, advancing on the wizard, his hand hovering over his own crotch.

“What? It… no, not knights… Arthur.” Merlin stammered, aware Gwaine was very close now.

Leaning in to Merlin, Gwaine whispered into his ears, his lips brushing the wizard’s skin. “Do you want to take control of me, Merlin?”

“No, I..” Merlin replied, faintly. The strong aroma of the knight, mixed with the sweat following a hard day’s training, reminded him of Arthur, made him want Arthur. He was aware of Gwaine’s hand working its way down his body.

“That’s not what your body is saying. One of you is a liar, and I believe your cock over you.”

Merlin began a rejection, but was distracted by the sensation of Gwaine’s lips kissing Merlin’s ears. Surrendering himself to the knight, Merlin exposed his whole neck. Taking the hint, Gwaine’s lips danced along the pale white skin, rougher yet with more certainty than Arthur’s, leaving red marks. The sensation of Gwaine’s breath on Merlin’s wet neck, of his long hair brushing against Merlin’s collarbone and of his hands roaming his body drove the wizard crazy, making him realise just how horny he had been.

“Do you want me, Merlin?”

“I don’t -” Merlin tried, again.

“Are you sure?” Gwaine replied in a low sing-song voice. He gazed into Merlin’s eyes, and maintained contact as he took off his leather jacket and white linen shirt, leaving his bare torso exposed.

“I don’t think there’s a need to ask again, is there?” In one swift motion, Gwaine had lowered Merlin’s trousers, and scooped Merlin up in his hands, allowing the wizard to kick off his pants and wrap his legs around the stronger knight. Still kissing the wizard, Gwaine’s hand clenched Merlin’s arse in hands, and slowly began to circle his hole with his finger.

Gwaine (Merlin) ShirtlessMerlin responded by arching his head back further and opening himself up to Gwaine’s advances, closing his eyes and thinking of the similarities between the muscled bodies of Gwaine and Arthur. The feeling of the leather of Gwaine’s trousers on Merlin’s thighs gave the wizard an unexpected rush, and he felt his cock trapped against Gwaine’s body struggling to break free.

“That’s it Merlin, give in. I’m yours now.” Gwaine growled, his finger entering Merlin roughly. Recalling a spell he read in preparation for Arthur, Merlin magically lubed his hole, easing the discomfort of Gwaine’s forcefulness.

“Your magic comes in useful, wizard.” Gwaine responded, inserting another finger. Merlin began to moan loudly at the sensation, despite the fact he was aware the court was just across the hall. Rocking his hips to Gwaine’s rhythm, the rush of being caught, the urgency, drove Merlin closer to orgasm quicker than he thought possible.

“I’m… close.” The wizard panted, a bead of sweat running down his forehead.

“Not so quickly, Merlin.” Gwaine teased, pushing the wizard onto the large wooden table, letting his bare legs wave in the air.  “Are you ready for me, boy?”

“Yes.” Merlin pleaded, his body aching to be entered, his cock throbbing with the anticipation of release. Gwaine responded to his reply by undoing his own leather pants, and releasing his cock. Merlin noticed it was a good size, slightly smaller than Arthur’s, but still very impressive.

“If it helps, you can picture the King. I don’t mind.” Gwaine teased. “Oh, and you might want to lube yourself up again, I’m quite a lot to handle.” Placing himself between the wizard’s legs, the knight rested Merlin’s calves on his shoulders. Merlin had just uttered the final syllable of his spell as Gwaine pushed his erection against Merlin’s hole, forcing entry.

The familiar mixture of pleasure and pain shot through Merlin’s body, the latter slowly subsiding as the wizard got used to Gwaine’s rapid thrusting. Merlin’s hands gripped the sides of the table to prevent the force of Gwaine pushing him off, whilst the knight’s tight torso slapped against the back of Merlin’s legs.

“Oh Merlin, you’re so fucking tight, I’m getting close too.” Gwaine cried,  his thrusts increasing in intensity as he brought his hands up behind his head. The pounding was growing louder and louder, almost covering Merlin’s moans.

“I’m going to cum Merlin, cum with me.”

“I’m not… I’m not there, yet.” Merlin replied, his head lolled back and his eyes closed, waiting for the tidal wave of orgasm to build up, like it did with Arthur. This new position had thrown Merlin. He wasn’t counting on going so far with Gwaine.

“Ok, Merlin, I can hang on for a minute, at most. You’re just so hot, and tight.” Gwaine murmured, pleasure engulfing him. “I’ll help you along.” Lowering his hands, he gripped Merlin’s erect cock and began to wank him off as vigorously as his thrusting, his other hand gripping the wizard’s shoulder. Biology overrode psychology as Merlin’s misgivings were pushed to one side, his mind focusing on the new sensation brought by Gwaine’s hand.

“I’m, closer… I’m nearly there.” Merlin responded, Gwaine’s movements bringing him closer to ecstasy.

“Me too Merlin. Cum with me.”

“Yeah.” Merlin breathed, almost inaudibly.

“Ready, yeah? Three, two… one… now Merlin!” The wizard felt Gwaine release inside of him, accompanied by a loud roar. Merlin came just after, Gwaine pumping his cock to release every drop of cum within him over the wizard’s shirt. Merlin felt the sexual energy leave his body, but the dizzying pleasure he felt riding Arthur’s cock was absent. His toes didn’t curl, his body didn’t feel like it was about to explode and he didn’t feel… happy. He felt wrong, he felt uneasy, he felt dirty to be presented to Gwaine like this, to show something so private to Gwaine that he couldn’t take back. Merlin realised he had given away a piece of himself to the knight, a piece he never wanted to lose to anyone but Arthur. A sudden realisation hit the wizard, not the kind that brings the pleasure he was hoping for, but rather the kind that rips apart someone’s soul.

“Sorry about your shirt Merlin, but that was amazing…” Gwaine said as he ducked under Merlin’s legs and pulled his pants up.

Merlin managed a slight verbal acknowledgement.

“I was that good, eh?”

“Is that how he felt?” Merlin asked, to nobody in particular, still lying on the table, his now soft penis flopped to the right, the cum drying on his chest and pubes.

“Erm… what?”

“Arthur, is that how he felt afterwards? After I -“

“I don’t know, Merlin. Felt like what?”

“Dirty, used, worthless”

“Oh, I’m not really sure, he does’t -“

“Empty, pointless, unclean, bro-“

“Ok Merlin, I get the point. Truth is, yes. He probably did. But you knew what you were doing and, let’s face it, you didn’t care about the consequences.”

“I thought he would forget, I had a potion, it failed. I didn’t want him to know.” Merlin had told that story to himself, countless time since he first came up with his plan. But hearing it said out loud made brought home how empty, how naive his excuse was.

“There are some things you can’t forget Merlin. Some things that are always there with you. He has changed recently, that’s plain to see.” Gwaine said, almost indifferently, as he found pulled his pants up and searched for his shirt.

“He’s strong though, he’ll get over it – wont he?” The pleading in his voice was laid bare, the full realisation of his actions open for all to see.

By trying to have Arthur for one night, to own him, I’ve destroyed the very thing I loved. A cruel twist of irony, but one I deserve.

“I don’t know, Merlin. I just don’t know. You’ve seen it with this Kinsley thing. He would have seen sense a few months ago, but now, he’s withdrawn. He’s scared to leave the comfort of his castle.”

“But… he’s… that’s… Is there anything I can do?”

“I don’t know Merlin.”

“I know there’s something, Gwaine, there has to be.”

“Well, I reckon that… no, never mind.”

“What? I want to know Gwaine.”

“Ok. I think, and this is just me, if he goes out to face Kinsley, he’ll feel powerful again, he’ll feel strong. He’ll remember the old Arthur, the Arthur that is King of Camelot. But nobody can convince him, we’ve all tried.”

“I’ve not.”

“With due respect, Merlin, I -“

“I’m lying on a desk with my cock out, covered in my own cum and I’m filled with yours. I don’t deserve respect.”

“Ah, well -“

“I’m going to speak to Arthur, I’m going to try to convince him. I’ve destroyed his life, it seems fitting that I should be the one who tries to fix it. I owe that much to him. If he doesn’t listen, so be it. It’s no more than I would expect.”

Gwaine watched as the wizard whispered a few words and made the cum disappear from his person, pull his trousers up and fix his hair. He looked at Gwaine, and a momentary flare of power rose in his eyes. It faded as quickly as it appeared.

“Gwaine, I don’t think this will happen again. I’m sorry.” With that, Merlin quietly left.

Why did I do that? I love Arthur, I made him fuck me against his will. Then, when I’m heartbroken because he obviously hates me I go for the first man who looks at me, for a substandard shag. I’m a fucking mess – if I can’t convince – save – Arthur – I may as well give up. 

As the wizard exited, Gwaine smiled. Yes, he had messed with Merlin’s emotions and schemed behind Arthur’s back, but his last gambit had worked. There was a chance now that perhaps, just perhaps, Camelot had a fighting chance at survival… and he’d got a pretty decent shag out of it.

If you enjoyed this chapter, please rate and/or comment. Thanks!

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